Grit and Resilience

You Need BOTH Grit AND Resilience

Grit is powerful. I don’t mean the coarseness of sandpaper but the grit a person or especially a mama must have to accomplish something in the long run.

When I talk to teens, many of them don’t understand grit. In fact, a lot of mamas don’t understand grit well either. The grit I want you to have and understand is the grit that helps you make things happen.

For some, grit is that single focus a mama cannot or will not deviate from. When my Aunt Cindi wanted to have a baby, it didn’t go well. There were three difficult and unsuccessful pregnancies, but she wanted a baby, so she did not give up, ever. Her second son will graduate from college in May : )

Grit is having that long term goal and following through. Think about the kids who want to become spelling bee champions. They spend hours a day practicing spelling to compete in the Scripps National Spelling Bee. There is a $50,000 prize, but when you watch their faces as they spell, the kids aren’t focused on the money. The competitors want to win, but it’s effort, work, and intentionally achieving something that shows when the last letter is said and the spelling is correct.

Practice is part of grit. What do you do over and over again until you get it right or reach the goal you want to achieve? Let your children see your grit.

Think about those young spellers again. At the end of the spelling bee, there is only one winner. Does it mean those who don’t win have crushed dreams? The answer is yes. Some kids do quit competing, but there are others who don’t.

Grit means you continue to do everything to achieve that goal, but on a lot of goals, especially the important ones, resilience also becomes an integral part of achieving the goal. Grit is all about pushing through whereas resilience means you bounce back.

Those spellers who don’t give up have resilience. They are persistent. According to Scripps.com, the 2023 Spelling Bee included 41 spellers from the 2022 event. 49 others had been in the spelling bee a different year, and one speller was in the competition a record sixth time.

That persistence, that resilience, is what helps people deal with setbacks. There can’t be setbacks if there isn’t a goal which is the grit part, but if there isn’t resilience to bounce back, then the goal will be unachievable as well.

Grit and resilience go together hand in hand.

Doctor and author, Travis Bradberry says, “Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to quit the next time. On the other hand, If you force yourself to push through it, the grit begins to grow in you.”

That last part may be the most important takeaway. You can develop grit, and you can develop resilience.

To develop grit, you are going to have to believe you can accomplish the goal. Remember there will be bumps in the road, but you have to believe you can do it. Mental health plays a key role in being gritty.

Passion that your goal has value will help you develop grit. Believing in your goal matters. Not long ago, I wrote about Marie Curie. Despite many setbacks, she never stopped her studies and became a brilliant scientist. Your goal can be big or small, but you must want to achieve it.

Think back to a goal you’ve achieved. For a lot of people, riding a bike is a great way to remember grit. Were you scared? Did you fall? But here’s the grit part: did you know you were going to conquer that dang bike?

Resilience is also something that you can grow and develop. Staying with the bike riding example, if you got back up, maybe you said, “I can make it down the driveway by myself this time.” And you did! Combining grit and resilience, eventually you could ride your bike for miles.

Many of the examples I have provided are from childhood. What are you doing to develop grit and resilience today? You are a major role model to your teens. What is it that you show them? If you’re gritty and resilient, they will be, too!

When I was in elementary school, my mom showed me that you could go back to school as an adult and get a degree. In fact, she did it twice. You don’t have to go back to school, but what have you shown your teen that matters to you enough that you will put in effort and overcome adversity to accomplish?

What about your teen and grit and resilience? Have you seen your teen put in a lot of work to accomplish something? It takes extra work to keep pushing through and coming up with alternatives as needed, but I’ve seen high schoolers work hard on the football field in hopes of becoming pros. Young artists and singers have also shown that they are willing to work toward their goals no matter what it takes. Your child can be gritty AND resilient if you are (let alone if your child has developed the skills).

I’ve shown my mama that I can start a company and be successful. It’s not been easy, and there have been setbacks, but I’m writing this article for you today as a business owner.

Having dreams and goals is only the first step. Working toward them and taking the steps to make them happen while facing setbacks and pitfalls is when you know you have grit and resilience.

Taking steps even when you fall will make your goals possible. Try to fall forward; it helps : )

Grit and resilience can take you where you want to go. Continue to develop them. They will bring you success - just ask anyone who’s ever made a dream reality.