Goals are Good!

EDITED BY JESSY: COMPLETED

Goals are Good!

By Jessyka Coulter, President and CEO of Ace Cookie Tutoring

You’re breathing hard, but it’s a good burn. You can hear the others’ feet pounding behind you, but you’ve got a good yard or so between you. You’ve been working on your footwork. The ball is doing exactly what you want it to do.

It’s time to drive toward the goal.

The goalie puts on a fierce face, but you can see the fear in her eyes as she sees the determination in yours. It’s a running kick. The ball goes straight into the net. SCORE!

Congratulations :) A goal in soccer is an AWESOME thing! But before you celebrate too much, consider how much went into making that goal happen. How many hours did you spend on the practice field? Was there time in the weight room? Were there hours spent running to build up resilience? Is there a specific diet to follow? How many injuries have you suffered? And so much more…

What really goes into goals? A goal of ANY kind doesn’t just happen.

Goals for learning have a lot of behind the scenes parts as well. But what’s even scarier is a 92 percent failure rate. If you consider New Year’s Resolutions a goal (which I don’t), only 8% of adults achieve them according to a Harvard University article.

Why make a goal at all with those statistics? Well, there’s a quotation floating around that is sometimes attributed to Michael Jordan, “If you never take the shot at all, you’ll never make any.” Goals matter, but they take structure and planning to come to fruition.

Understand that there are BIG goals that are very long-term, and mini goals that you can work toward and accomplish every day which lead to short-term goals being accomplished. Short-term goals are a step towards accomplishing BIG, long-term goals.

A BIG goal might be climbing Mount Everest, but an everyday, mini goal for your teen might be getting out the door on time each day.

Goals can be motivational. When you or your teen really cares about that goal, it becomes THE motivation. If your teen needs to see that success, a calendar in a prominent location with a big green checkmark showing each day he was successful can make a difference, especially for visual learners. Don’t go overboard, but acknowledge your teen’s efforts.

Goals like getting out the door on time can help your teen’s habits to improve. If she’s on time to school every day, maybe turning in work every day can be next. Building up goals eventually changes the motivation from extrinsic like the calendar to something more intrinsic, even automatic.

If your teen moves from getting to school on time to turning in work, he’s got a choice, and the teen you have will make a lot of difference. If your teen hasn’t been turning in work, choose whether turning in work is the goal or completing work is the goal. They are not the same thing. Although a lot of mamas would like their teens to do both, goals need to be attainable. Remember, we’re not starting with Mount Everest.

Whatever goal is being considered, you and your teen must stay focused and think positively.

To keep that positive mindset, choose a long-term goal and break it into short-term goals. I am a huge proponent of the SMART goal system.

SMART is an acronym for the following words:

· S – Specific. “I want to do well” isn’t very clear. More specific would be that “I want a score of 80% or better in all of my classes.” When working with your teen, you can choose to work on one class or all. Start with hills, not mountains.

· M – Measurable. The goal above is measurable because it has a specific outcome, but it is also measurable because you can see progress. If your teen had a 60% in several classes but now has a 70%, the progress alone is measurable.

· A – Achievable. I’ve seen some pretty amazing teens. They have made almost complete turn-arounds. But that is not every teen. When setting a goal, it needs to be doable. Writing a novel in a year could happen, but J.K. Rowling spent six years writing the first Harry Potter book. It doesn’t have to be easy, but it does have to be possible. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure.

· R – Relevant. You may have an idea for your teen. That’s not bad, but does your teen have the same idea? Does he want to accomplish the goal? Setting a goal for yourself or helping your teen set goals means they have to matter to the one trying to achieve them. Forcing someone into a mold they don’t want to be put into can be frustrating for everyone involved. (You may also know the R to be “realistic.” If your child is failing every class right now, it’s not realistic for her to be getting As next week in all of her classes. Remember: the short-term goal HAS to be a stepping stone to the long-term goal which means the goal isn’t going to happen overnight.)

· T – Time. There must be a time limit on the goal. This prevents procrastination. This does not mean you or your teen gives up if the deadline comes and goes. It means you create another goal. Maybe desires changed. Maybe motivation was lost. A deadline gives you the opportunity to rethink the goal and encourages time management.

SMART goals can take a little longer to develop. But, they remove any gray area. There’s no wishy-washy, “It can wait” or “This isn’t what I want.” They make your teen think just a little bit harder. Once she’s created one, she knows what she wants to happen, and with the time element, she’s established how long she is willing to work toward the goal with the intent of accomplishing it by that date.

As you or your teen develop goals and work toward them, you may want to graph them. Like the calendar showing your teen how often she’s on time to school, a graph can help you and your teen see how much progress is being made. For some people that graph can be motivational. If you’ve ever been involved in a fundraiser, it’s fun to watch the numbers grow on a money measuring graph i.e. money “thermometer”.

Some goals will lend themselves to graphing while others will not. But, it’s still essential to write down the long-term goal you and/or your teen is working towards no matter if it’s academic, athletic, or career specific.

Goals have a way of affecting much of a person’s life. They can help build character and initiative. A person who’s created goals and accomplished them is less likely to give up when challenged. And, the people who make and accomplish goals know how to take action. They make things happen. Is that who you or your teen want to be?

Choose to be more forward thinking, “What does the future look like? What can I do to make my future the best it can be?” Napoleon Hill said, “Goals are dreams with a deadline,” and I think it is the perfect way to summarize thinking about the future. What goal will you accomplish next?